(no subject)

Hi. So. It's really cold, did you know that? Really cold.

I have no idea why anyone would play winter sports. Why would you CHOOSE to go outside in this weather? It's like a soldier being safe and warm in his bunker and then CHOOSING to go outside and throw little pieces of paper at the Germans because it's "fun", despite the fact that the Germans have tanks and poisonous gas and trench mortars and machine guns.

That soldier would be an idiot, my friend. A big, stupid, idiotic idiot.

Here is a picture of that soldier:



Looking a bit disgruntled, are we? Perhaps because we know that we will be hit in the face by a piece of shrapnel as soon as we leave our trench?

And here is a picture of a German soldier:



He is laughing because he knows that the stupid little paper-throwing soldier will never harm him. 'No,' he is laughing, 'that idiot won't even come close. Because Germans are too cool. We have trench mortars.'

(no subject)

Happy New Year, everyone! Happy 2007! Yay!

My new favourite thing is New Year's Eve. I LOVE New Year's Eve.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh. I feel giddy.

(no subject)

No, I'm not dead. I've just been busy.

I have good news: my essence is back. I also have bad news: my motivation is gone. I mean, really, what is the point of anything? People live. People die. People make big deals out of their frivolous little problems.

It's cold. Christmas Eve is tomorrow, and there's no snow. But it's still cold.

It would be nice to go to China. Maybe communism isn't all that bad...
  • Current Mood
    pensive Angry and kind of hopeless.

(no subject)

You'd think my essence would've come back by now. But no. My allergy pills aren't helping, and it's cold outside, and I feel funny because I ate too many potatoes at dinner.

Oh, and my English essay is a piece of crap. I don't even know what's wrong with it. But 'tis CRAP, I say, CRAP. What if I fail? It's not unlikely, since the essay is absolute CRAP.

My essay-writing skills have gone on vacation along with my essence. I bet they're reading mystery novels and drinking cocktails while lying on a beach in Paraguay (even though Paraguay doesn't touch the ocean).

I must get my essence back. And my skills. Oh God, I miss my skills.

You know what I need? I need a plan.

MY SUPER PLAN

Step 1: Clean my room.

Step 2: Buy a wooly hat and possibly a treadmill (those things are so fun! I could READ while on a treadmill! Or listen to PODCASTS while on a treadmill! Or just BE on a treadmill! The possibilities are endless!).

Step 3: Excel at schoolwork. Of course, this will only be possible if I get rid of my allergies (which is impossible). Oh dear, I'm going to fail everything.

Step 4: Replace the furniture and carpet in my room. I will not rest until I have accomplished this.

Step 5: Transfer my photos from my camera to the computer.

Step 6: Do yoga? Try to channel my essence?

Step 7: Eh, whatever.
  • Current Music
    The song where I don't have an essence. Or skills.

(no subject)

Hello, all. As you can see, Snape has been replaced by a nice little daisy.

Oh, and my font is blue now! The green was nice, but blue represents tranquility, which I need. I bet you are wondering WHY I am in such dire need of tranquility.

I'll tell you why.

My essence is slowly deteriorating.

It's true! I've been forgetting things, my room is messy, my grades are dropping, my punctuality has been iffy, I can't stop eating chocolate, and my allergies won't go away!

Up until today I had no idea what I was allergic to. Now I've discovered that I'm allergic to not having my essence. It's complete torture.

Shouldn't I be writing my English essay? Must get to work.
  • Current Music
    Music? Yes, I liked that back when I had my essence...

(no subject)

New userpic alert! Goodbye, Kermit! Hello, Snapey!

Oh, by the way, my little junk food boycott has completely gone down the toilet. Do you know how many miniature chocolate bars I've had today? Yeah, I'm not telling you.

But I'll keep trying. I was just stressed today-- that's all. I had a gigantic bloody pile of stupid homework that kept me busy for hours.
  • Current Music
    Idina Menzel - Damsel in Distress

(no subject)

I feel sick, but I'm not sure why. Maybe my appendix is acting up again (although that doesn't seem too likely, unless I have an appendix in my throat). Yesterday, I had an awful (ish) throatache and today I feel very dizzy. And strange.

Perhaps I have a liver problem?

Or maybe I don't even HAVE a problem. What if I'm just a hypochondriac?

OH MY GOSH, I'VE GOT HYPOCHONDRIA! What if I need to get an OPERATION?

Maybe it's all the junk food I've been eating lately (gotta love Halloween). I don't usually eat candy, so maybe my metabolism can't take it! And it's making me sick!

Okay, well, so far today I've just had a tomato sandwich and some coffee and... er... one of those miniature Kit-Kat bars...

It's not even lunchtime yet! I've turned into some sort of chocolate addict. I've always been a chocoholic, but I never thought it would get to this point.

I've hit rock bottom. I think I may have to go to rehab.

NO! NO! I'll quit by myself. I'll go cold turkey. No junk food. No junk food. No junk food. No junk food.

This could be quite interesting.

ATTENTION, READERS OF MY BLOG (wouldn't it be funny if there were actually people who read my blog? Ha ha... it's nice to dream...):

Join me in my crusade against junk food. Boycott licorice and chips and gummy bears and (eep) even chocolate.


Wow, I'm feeling all dutiful now. This is quite exhilerating.

I should make a promotional banner.
  • Current Mood
    hungry Hungry. BUT NOT FOR CHOCOLATE.

(no subject)

My appendix hurts. Or at least, I think it does. I'm not exactly sure where the appendix is located in the human body. But it feels like a stitch from running--not pleasant.

I think I'll type "appendix" on Google Images and see what I find.

*GOOGLE*

Apparently, the appendix is on the right side, in between the navel and the hip bone.

That's sort of where I feel the stitch...

On a brighter note, I found some pretty awesome pictures of appendixes (or is it appendixi? Or appendi? Or just appendix?).

Voila:



Look at that; pretty gross, huh? If my appendix has to be removed, then good riddance. It's not even good for anything. According to "The Vertebrate Body" (1986), "Its major importance would appear to be financial support of the surgical profession."

I love the Internet.
  • Current Music
    My appendix hurts.

(no subject)

I have just spent ten minutes researching the colour purple. Don't ask me why; if all goes well, you'll find out in a few months.

Anyway, I think I'm going to change the plot of my NaNoWriMo novel. The original title was "Burying the Hatchet". The title of this new story will be "A Girl Called 'Biscuit'". If you've read "A Boy Called 'It'", then you know how sick and cruel I am to make fun of it.

But honestly, though, it's just so funny!

Which novel sounds better, then? Click on the "comment" button and tell me.

Argh. There is only one person who ever leaves me comments. (You know who you are!)

But I appreciate those comments, of course.